hOPe

well 2005...so many thing happened all at once... At the beginning of the year i was able to open my heart once again.. shit i thought it was noT possible..but i still thought of you....... In the middle of the year i went to the states to escape.. from what i thought was here in REP DOM, when in fact i was running from myself.. and i missed you...i met a couple of special people in my life on that trip and experienced a loss.. when i came back..i believed i was home for a moment.. and that moment didnt last very long..i had returned to hearts that have been lost to the unknown....i also returned to the past...the past...because i dont know how to deal with feeling, because im not stable emotionally...i suppose its because of that---- or may is because love is just so strong sometimes or.```-- just the thought of being alone...When ur alone u think a lot..You create...Turning simple things into complex things.. because ur searching for someone to understand u,,,I was looking for myself but in the opposite sex..BUT I LEARNED to accept others. No one will ever be exactly as u want them to be....LOVE is a strong word..Yet is simple...i think the complexity of it all is letting go. I lost my great grandma, this year..I lost a Strong Woman..I lost a Story. I Helped a lot this year.. Helped my past and Friends... I Also missed and miss, I miss my best friends.....GI.....DIANNE my BROTHERS..... I miss the Past...because it knows me so well that i let it plays with my head...I miss it because it has changed me.. and made me who i am today..because in the end its all that i have... the past builds memories... but i have a present..and a future..that tells me not to relive the past.. and learn from mistakes.... In the end of this year... i was so eager---- for the end.... the end of sadness..the end of being lost...the end of trying to open ur eyes....when i couldnt even open my own...but i must admit they are not completely open..but they are half way.. I hope u can open yours someday.... But to every end...there is a BEGINNING.. and i hope this time...Things would be A WHOLE LOT better for all of us.... I PROMISE ... I WONT LOSE HOPE.... IF YOU DON'T..... LOVE YOU.. VERE